Estrella

This song never fails to evoke visions of the swirling cosmos in which we are all but tiny specks, but all still have an integral part ("estrella" is Spanish for "star"). Something about the two different layers of gauzy, ambient keyboards makes me imagine a picture of the Milky Way with its spiral of small suns, gaseous orbs, dust in the universe. The lead keyboard, the one that sounds like a piano, keeps the song from going all the way into the ambient zone, and grounds it, sort of like I would be grounded when I look up at the sky to view the stars and imagine where I fit into the whole business of existence. The distant, slow-tempo drum machine throbs distantly like a slow pulse, a pulsing star...

I'm also pretty sure that this is supposed to be a love song, based on the lyrics, but it's so abstract that it could be any kind of love, from romantic love, to the love of a parent for his or her child, to the love between close friends, to God's love for humanity (which I wonder about, since Tara Vanflower from Lycia uses Christian imagery and is pretty vocal about her Christianity in interviews. Lycia is pretty much the only "Christian" music I tolerate, let alone enjoy, because it's always abstract, somewhat mystical, and never overt or overbearing). The message of love, "forever my darling am I with you," is pretty damn comforting to me. Obviously Tara's vocals are foregrounded, and are fairly easy to understand if you are listening for meaning, but the murmured, muted, spoken background vocals have always made me listen more closely to hear what is being said.... without success. In a way, this is also evocative of looking up at the sky to see the stars... the light of the stars can be muted through clouds or a haze of pollution (I live in LA now, remember), or light pollution could be overwhelming their distant glow, making it hard to see them and know where they are and what their features are.

The thing about shoegazing music is that the sound of the vocals and any distinguishable lyrics is always more important than their meaning, and most bands don't strictly adhere to the songwriting activity of creating concrete images through words. For that reason, shoegaze of its various flavors always sets me at peace. When I understand the lyrics, they never offend me, but rather tantalize my mind with abstract, sometimes lush and beautiful images and meanings... but if I don't understand them, that's fine. So, I don't always work very hard to understand what is being said, and can just let my mind go and immerse myself in the sensory experience of listening. That is something that is hard for me to do, because lyrics are normally VERY important to me. When I manage to do it, it's nearly as good as meditating. This is also why I listen to music in languages that I don't understand, or listen to black metal with unintelligibly, hoarsely screamed vocals, or mostly-vocal music without lyrics. For some reason, most instrumental music just makes me drowsy, not peaceful, so when I need peace AND wish to stay awake, I have a few specific categories of music that do the trick. I recommend putting this song on, closing your eyes, and thinking about stars on a clear night while you overlook the city of your choice from a high hill. Breathe deeply, and remember that the universe has a place for every speck and every atom, including you.